today mands and i went to nh to see a dinner theater with many of her and her mom's dear friends. ok, actually it was brunch theater. anyhow, we had a good time but it made for a long day...we were in nh by 10ish and just got home fifteen minutes ago (it's almost 11). the brunch was mediocre and the play was so-so, but the company was great.
after brunch, we went to A market looking for raw milk (where on earth can you find it?!?) with no success, and took grammy home and visited with her for a few minutes. then we headed to missy's house (missy didn't come because she felt absolutely terrible today). we spent time with her (ordered a pizza and watched several episodes of csi after disclosing all of our recent news...basal body temperature, meeting with the lawyer, things going on at school, looking for jobs in vt...) and then jonah came home accompanied by several friends, and before you knew it, the house was full of smoke. no, there wasn't a fire. so, i had this sneaky desire to smoke with them...it's been a while and i just felt like it. but i was too nervous to go out there, and mandy wasn't up to even hanging out with them, so i didn't. two nights ago, i was driving home from school and i just wanted to stop at the liquor store and grab some beer. totally out of character; i didn't because i didn't have any cash on me. last night, mands and i went to dinner with jesse & di at margarita's; i drank two margarita's and felt a little tipsy, then the 4 of us went to "amazing" the sex/toy store three doors down. no purchases for any of us, but mandy and i got home and took cleo for a walk and smoked a clove. wow. badass.
why did i have the urge to smoke tonight? why do i want to be a little bit bad these days? i feel overwhelmed, a little bit on edge, and more anxious than i've felt in a while. i fell asleep at mandy's mom's house and had unnerving dreams about not getting the kids' spelling ready for monday morning. it is vacation. wtf?
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2 comments:
tres interesting, senorita....i have many theories about why this is happening....we should chitter about this whenceforth you visit. perhaps you are feeling the pressure of other people's expectations? or maybe you just wanted a beer and a joint? you can decide and let me know.
perhaps i am always feeling the pressure of other people's expectations but that has been less and less of a driving force in my life these days. too bad you can't have either when i come up...
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